
ANY
This little guy turns eight today.
My littlest one.
My heart.
My love.
Eight.
A few weeks ago, we were watching some old family movies and I couldn't watch the one of Perry's 4th Birthday without crying. Just hearing his little voice and remembering those cheeks, my goodness, I almost had to cover my eyes. I hadn't noticed what was right in front of me— Perry is growing up. He seemed to stay a baby for so long that I thought he would be one forever. And all this time, I've seen myself as a mother to that little baby. I hadn't noticed that he's not, that I'm not, that person anymore. I used to see mothers with babies on their hips and I would see me. I don't anymore. Now I don't really know what I see.
I had a dream once where Perry truly was still a baby. Please let me stay in this dream forever, I pleaded. I sat with him on a bed I didn't recognize in an old farm house I'd never seen before and I soaked up every last bit of him. Then I heard Michael and Arden in the backyard, calling my name, waking me up, and I knew that the moment was already over. Some nights I go to bed hoping I'll have that dream again.
Someone told me once that raising a child is like cradling your heart in your hands and protecting it as you stumble your way through life. I would say raising Perry has been a lot like that, only I'm cradling my heart in a snowstorm, blindfolded, while walking a tightrope, on two broken feet.
If I could, I would keep him in my pocket forever. Safe and warm.
ANY

ANY
Happy Birthday, my littlest love. xox, Mom.
ANY