I used to love photography. It was all I ever wanted to do. I took classes all through high school and focused on it completely until I took my first college art class...
College photography was all about content and purpose and making statements and having a reason behind my work and I just didn't have one. I wanted to take pretty pictures. I really tried to take pretty pictures all the time. But that was wrong. My teacher would roll her eyes and say, Here we go again with another beauty shot of your boyfriend. I didn't understand it. I psyched myself out and gave up on photography altogether. (Dramatic, I know.)
After a few years, I started bringing my camera around with me again. Not often, but sometimes. When Arden was born, I really started taking pictures again in earnest. I finally had my content, my purpose, my reason to take pictures! (I don't think that's what my college professors had in mind but still, it was a good reason.) After Perry was born, we bought our first digital camera. I hated the pictures I shot with that camera. They were very clinical — no atmosphere, no richness — regardless of what I did. Michael took over picture taking duties. His pictures were much better than mine and he was actually enjoying the new camera. I stuck to my trusty old manual though it was becoming increasingly difficult and expensive to find a good photo finisher who processed traditional film. I eventually started taking fewer and fewer pictures.
Everything changed when we got the new digital SLR. It's just like a manual — yay! But it's a digital — YAY! It will take me years to understand what it really can do (if I ever do). Right now, I just try to take it with me everywhere I go and take pictures of everything I see. I feel like I'm starting all over again. I'm learning, relearning, and unlearning every day. With the help of Photoshop, I'm getting closer to where I want to be, but I'm still so very far away.
And, don't tell anyone but I already want a bigger lens. Is that bad?
